Last week I posted as usual in my Facebook Group Unstoppable Career Women’s Collective; What intentions do you have for the week? I usually post this as I have set intentions for the week as well as defining a daily plan.
When I came to review it this week, barely any of my intentions had been achieved and it made me stop and think. Were these intentions, or merely actions on a to do list? Is there a difference? Well indeed there is and I think I got them mixed up and then chose to do very little follow up anyway.
I would not describe my self as self-sabotaging, but there is clearly something life limiting in setting intentions and then ignoring them. For one, we put energy into identifying a goal, but no energy (or attention) into the follow through. Yet, we are likely to put lots of mental energy into the negative self-chatter about why we didn’t do anything and how bad we feel about that.
Since this is unusual me, I thought it would be worth sharing my reflections here. Firstly, let me loop back to the comment I glided over earlier – are intentions different from tasks on a to do list. I would make a clear distinction between the two. Tasks are things we put on a to do list to be able to tick off and move on to the next. Intentions are actions and steps linked to a bigger goal. A task might be ‘pay the electric bill’ and an intention might be: ‘define best approach for a new coaching group’. Another reflection between the two is that a task addresses something that needs closure or is time bound and an intention is likely to be steps that lead towards a bigger goal (in my case, launching a new coaching group).
Why does the distinction matter? It matters because the consequences between the two is quite different. Failing to do a task, means that something if let undone becomes an annoyance (more reminders, late deadlines etc). Failing to do an intention means that we can feel lost on our path: What was it again we were trying to achieve? Am I still on the right path? Have I got it in me to succeed in this goal? The consequences have a bigger impact on our sense of direction and our self-confidence.
If this resonates with you and you find yourself falling short of your intentions on a regular basis, ask yourself:
- What was it that got in the way of achieving my intentions?
- Was the interference (of my goals) valid, or something I allowed to get in the way?
- Are there some underlying reasons (aka resistance) that need to be identified and addressed before I can move forward?
- What else might I need to support me to achieve this goal (for example, do you need to break it down into smaller goals first)?
If you are prone to dwell on the negatives, take a few moments to observe your thoughts around the lack of achievement and notice any repetitive thought patterns that might be driving negative self-talk. For example, are you hearing yourself say:
- I’m just not good enough!
- Look at me, failed again!
- What did I expect, I’m always missing deadlines!
- I might as well give up now, this is hopeless!
If any of these sound familiar, STOP!.
Let’s see if we can put in some more supportive thoughts to keep your focus and motivation in place.
For example, some positive affirmations might be:
- Even though I didn’t achieve everything I intended, I’m still on the right path and making progress.
Or:
- I am so grateful that I can see progress, even if it’s taken longer than I anticipated, I still feel like I am on the right path.
There might be other words that come to you, if there are, write them down and use them as a helpful daily affirmation to support your motivation and positive mindset.
I will be doing a Facebook live on this very topic in the next couple of weeks, so if you would find that helpful and are not already part of the community, do join me in: Unstoppable Career Women’s Collaborative.
Wishing the wind behind your back as you strive towards your goals.
Keep believing in you!