When I set up Agents2Change 18 years ago, if you had asked me what would make my business successful, I’d probably have talked about strategy, expertise, hard work and resilience.
And yes, resilience mattered. When you work for yourself, you have to believe in your own success because setbacks are inevitable.
But looking back now, I think I was wrong about what truly mattered.
Growing up in a disadvantaged and dysfunctional environment taught me one lesson very early on: your beginning does not have to define your destination. Leaving home at 18 and leaving my home city at 20 weren’t just practical decisions; they reflected an instinctive understanding that our environment shapes our choices, and that sometimes the bravest thing we can do is change our environment.
Over the past 18 years I’ve helped organisations transform culture, supported leaders through change and coached people to think differently. My work has always drawn on systems thinking, analytical insight and a deep understanding of organisational culture.
But when I look back honestly, those things weren’t what people remembered most.
The real difference wasn’t simply what I knew or what I did.
It was how I showed up.
Long before I understood it consciously, I knew what had been missing in my own early life: being seen, being heard and having someone fully present with me. Over time I realised those aren’t just childhood needs. They’re universal human needs, whether you’re a CEO, a new manager or someone quietly wondering what comes next.
As my work shifts from business transformation towards more personal transformation, that thread has become even clearer. Whether I’m coaching leaders, facilitating change or supporting people through healing work, the greatest gift I can offer isn’t another framework.
It’s presence.
Of course expertise matters. Insight matters. Experience matters.
But people rarely change because they’ve been given more information.
They change because, perhaps for the first time in a long time, they feel truly seen.
So if you’re pursuing career goals or hoping to make a bigger impact, don’t underestimate the so-called soft skills. Pay attention to the pauses. Notice the expressions that never become words. Listen beneath what’s being said. Be curious about someone’s emotional journey as much as their logical one.
You may discover that your greatest influence comes not from what you know…
…but from how you make people feel when they’re with you.
What has been the most unexpected lesson your career has taught you?