As International Women’s Day approaches on March 8th, 2024, I was reflecting on how far we have come in the 100 years since it first began.
Over a century of campaigning for women’s suffrage and equal rights has seen us make great strides from a time when women had no political rights, no domestic rights (they were a property of their husband or father) and had very little options in the world of academia or work.
Whilst society has moved on a great deal in that time, gender equality is still unrealised. We still create gender divisions in how we raise and shape children to behave differently.
Girls are still encouraged to associate femininity with being good, kind and thoughtful; boys to be strong, competitive and loud. This is not necessarily (or even often) by the parents, but by society at large.
Certainly when I was growing up, all of the messages from my mother were about being a ‘good girl’; putting the man first, making sure he was fed ahead of everyone else, learning to be a good wife and mother, since that is what in her mind I was destined to become.
Children today face even more pressure with constant social media influences, where we see an increase in cyber-bullying, body-perfect imprinting and the rise and rise of online porn. This inculcates girls into seeing that they are acceptable based on how they look whereas boys are acceptable based on what they do.
These fixed gender roles put women at a disadvantage in the workplace and the reasons for this are much wider than the world of work.
For example
- 1 in 3 (or 4 in UK) women experience domestic violence (most are under 25)
- Social Media is leading to cyber-bullying, anxiety and body morphia issues in young women
- 66% of young men (<18) will have accessed online porn (UK)
- For every 100 men promoted from entry level to manager, 87 women are promoted. The gap widens with each successive management level. (Women in the Workplace 2023 report)
‘Good girl’ syndrome might come out as striving to please others, holding your tongue when you want to speak or being a perfectionist. The need to meet the expectations of others, to be seen as the good wife, daughter, colleague etc., may even override your own needs and wishes.
This kind of social pressure on women leads to them finding it difficult to ask for what they want, assert themselves, and prioritise their needs. This can lead to an assumption that women are just not as ambitious as men, which is of course not true. How they show that ambitious however is often very different to their male colleagues Add to that the way that decisions around progression are often made, and we start to see the gap widening.
According to McKinsey:
Women are often hired and promoted based on past accomplishments, while men are hired and promoted based on future potential.
Sharing your ambition in an authentic way can be a challenge if you recognise the ‘good girl’ syndrome. In my last blog I shared the 4Ps model which showed how to make an impactful impression with only a few short sentences. The last P was pitch – the ask. One way to redress your good girl conditioning is to start to think about what do you want.
What would you like to have / achieve to make your life more fulfilled?
What do you need from others to help you achieve your goals?
If you spend time working out those two questions, then you could then share them with friends and supporters. Try them out for size and start to articulate what it is that will help you to enjoy life more.
Join my next Livestream
I’m going live International Women’s Day, Friday 8th March at 9.30am GMT. I’ll share 4 ways to #InspireInclusion. Book your spot on the links below and find out how we get beyond the ‘good girl’ syndrome and build inclusivity.
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/events/7166390123973038081/comments/
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